Words From The Warden

Friends
I celebrated my 70th birthday on August 3rd, though the celebration really began a week earlier. I admit that aging—and especially turning 70—has been difficult for me. I have always been goal oriented, even a dreamer, and I have worried about what it means if there are no dreams still ahead of me.

You may have heard the old adage that a car’s windshield is large so you can see where you are going, while the rearview mirror is small because where you have been is not nearly as important. I understand the point, but I have come to believe the opposite in one important way: where you have been matters deeply, because it shapes who you are.

Who I am has been shaped by my family—by Mom and Dad, by others who helped raise and guide me, and by my children. Just as surely, the people I have met and chosen as friends have influenced me beyond words.

As I entered my 70s, I decided to take what I call a “Graveyard Tour.” The tour would not be about endings, but about celebration—gathering with friends who have walked with me through different seasons of life: officiating friends, my longest-tenured adult friendships, and my closest friends from my years working in the world of high school sports. And Kim has celebrated along with me. 
When I was in first grade, my teacher, Mrs. Scheuerman, taught us an important lesson: choose your friends carefully.

That same wisdom appears in Proverbs 12:26, which teaches that good people choose their friends with care so they are not led down the wrong path. Carefully chosen friends offer deep loyalty, steady guidance, and a living reminder of Jesus as the ultimate model of friendship.

We spent time with my friend Ron, who now lives with the effects of dementia but remains relatively aware and engaged. I have always loved teasing him that he was my alter ego. Ron was a staunch Republican, quiet and thoughtful, and he never spoke without first thinking through his comments. I, on the other hand, was the opposite.

Part of my “Graveyard Tour” was spent with college friends Greg and Phil, my oldest officiating friend, Denny, and my closest officiating friend, Joe. Their spouses joined us as well. Each friendship began when we were young and still finding our way. Greg and I met in 1974 on the Ohio Northern University football team. Phil lived across the dorm hall from me in 1975, and we later became roommates. Denny and I met while officiating a football game at Tinora High School in 1976. Joe and I officiated Division III football together from 1985 to 1990, before we both moved into the Mid-American Conference. On the evening of August 3, we shared old stories, caught up on each other’s lives, and talked about the latest happenings in our families.

The weekend before my birthday week, I was fortunate to have four of my dearest friends stay with us. Mary had been a leader within the National Federation of State High School Associations after a brief tenure with the Illinois Association. Bill served as an associate director in Michigan, and Larry served in a similar role with the Kentucky association. Bob, like the rest of us, had once been an assistant, but he completed his 40-year career as the PIAA executive director, serving in that role for 14 years. Although our sport-specific responsibilities differed, we shared similar officiating development duties and a common commitment to the work. Together, we helped lead a revival of officiating training and support throughout the interscholastic sports industry.

The friends I mentioned earlier followed very different professional paths: Ron was a school administrator, Greg was a lawyer and three-term judge, Joe was a successful businessman, Phil was an engineer, and Denny was a doctor. Each of them officiated one or more sports and all of them had a passion to help others.

The common threads among the friends I have described are a shared love of sports officiating, genuine care for one another, and strong character. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us of the positive influence that comes from walking with people of wisdom and integrity. I have found that when I spend time with smart, loving people, their goodness lifts me and helps shape who I become. But when I spend time with mean-spirited or foolish people, it pulls me down and can cause real harm.

The friends I have made here at St. Luke’s have been a source of vitality and joy. As Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “iron sharpens iron,” and these friendships have made me better. That is true of both my new friends and my longtime friends.

To borrow a line from the 1983 song “Perhaps Love”: “If I could live forever and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you.”

Peace,

Henry Zaborniak, Senior Warden