Words From The Warden

What You Say
Sunday was one of those days when God made sure I had truly listened to Him.

We heard Matthew 15:10–28, where Jesus teaches that what comes out of our mouths—not what goes into them—is what can harm or defile us. The passage then turns to the Canaanite woman, someone regarded as an “other” and considered outside the circle of those who deserved the good news Jesus brought. Yet her faith proved greater than any judgment of unworthiness, and through that faith, her daughter was saved.

In her sermon, Pastor Julia brought Jesus’ words back to us. She reminded us that we are not called to see people as “others,” but as worthy brothers and sisters. She also named a painful truth: rules meant to guide people toward holiness can sometimes drive them away instead.

Words hurt. Being unseen hurts. Being treated as an outsider hurts.

Later that day, Kim and I attended the Disney musical production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, performed by the Cambridge Community Players. A friend’s 18-year-old daughter starred as Esmeralda.

I had never experienced either the movie or the stage production the way I did on Sunday.

The Archdeacon of Notre Dame despised the gypsies because they were different. He also rejected his nephew, Quasimodo, because of his deformity. He used the rules of “his” religion as if they were meant to lead others toward holiness. In truth, his motives were rooted in personal gain: power, desire, and admiration. The gypsies were treated as despised “others,” and they treated Quasimodo as a despicable outsider. Yet love came from those who had been labeled “other.”

What a story. It felt as if it had come straight from our Scripture reading and Pastor Julia’s sermon.

Also on Sunday, I spoke with a very good friend who told me I had hurt him by something I had said some time ago. He explained that he was hurt when I said I did not think of him as a doctor. He is a competent and talented professional, and my words had landed in a way I had not intended. As we talked further, I realized that what I had said was not what I meant. I had been trying to express that, because we were such good friends, I saw him first as a friend—not as some “big shot” doctor.

But intention does not erase impact. My comment was unintentional, but it still caused harm. Immediately, I thought of our Gospel lesson: “Out of the mouth comes what defiles us.”

That conversation reminded me that even careless words can wound, and that listening to how our words are received is part of loving one another well.

Dear God, I confess that I have sinned in thought, word, and deed—both by what I have done and by what I have left undone. Please forgive me. Help me seek forgiveness from those I have harmed and help them find the grace to forgive me as well.

Peace,

Henry Zaborniak, Senior Warden