Words From The Warden
Loss Of Belief
This week, Kim and I took a meal to friends who recently moved from Athens to Dublin. Joan and John had lived in Athens for more than 40 years, building deep roots in the community through their work, service, and relationships.
Both Joan and John taught school, coached sports, and led student activity programs. John and I became close friends through officiating, where he earned respect as an excellent football official and baseball umpire.
Together, John and Joan raised two good children into fine adults, and they recently became grandparents for the first time. By any measure, they have lived loving—even righteous—lives.
Now John is living with an advanced case of Parkinson’s disease, and Joan spends most of her time caring for him. It leaves me asking: Why John?
Last Saturday, I took a couple of meals to our friends Jenny and Steve, who live in a lovely home on the shores of Buckeye Lake.
We have not known Jenny and Steve for very long, but we have found them to be delightful company—fun to be around, generous in spirit, and simply good people.
Steve enjoyed a successful career in sales. After retiring, he became a full-time, highly sought-after substitute teacher. He loved the work—with one exception: kindergarten. He was terrified of those little kids.
Jenny was a lifelong educator. Teaching children, then teaching teachers, and later teaching administrators was her passion.
Like John and Joan, Jenny and Steve are loving, upright people. Yet Steve is now facing serious vascular-related health issues. He has already had part of his foot removed and is fighting to save his leg.
And I wonder: Why Steve?
Pew Research Center has studied why people leave religious communities, and its findings have been echoed by other independent research. While every person’s story is different, three broad patterns appear again and again.
3. Disillusionment with the Church
Some people walk away because they are discouraged by the church’s public positions on social and political issues, or by highly publicized clergy scandals. For many, the deeper wound is a perceived lack of authenticity: the church preaches one way of life but, in their experience, sometimes practices another.
2. Gradual Drifting Away
Most do not leave all at once. They simply drift. A move to a new community, children’s sports, family schedules, work demands, and other activities gradually take the place of regular worship. Over time, church becomes less central to daily life.
1. Loss of Belief
The most significant reason people give for leaving is also the most personal: they no longer believe the teachings of the religion. In Pew’s words, they have stopped believing.
When people wrestle with unanswered questions about science, theology, and especially suffering, their faith can weaken. Many have said they left because they did not feel the church was a safe place to ask honest, difficult questions.
It seems to me that the church should be the safest place of all to bring our hardest questions.
Why John? Why Steve? I do not believe there is a simple spiritual cause-and-effect answer. Some people say, “It is God’s plan.” Others suggest that suffering must have a spiritual reason.
For me, it simply feels unfair.
More than 30 years ago, I read When Bad Things Happen to Good People. In that book, Rabbi Harold Kushner wrestled with the painful reality that good people still suffer.
The main takeaway for me was this: the question “Why?” may never have a satisfying answer. What matters most is how we respond when bad things happen to good people.
We can step up our game:
We sit with them.
We call them.
We listen to them.
We remind them that God does not delight in their suffering either.
I am no biblical scholar, but I am fairly certain that Jesus did not assign blame. He healed. He shared meals. He sat with people and listened. He loved them.
When bad things happen to good people, it is our time to live as disciples of Christ—to love without ceasing.
Peace,
Henry Zaborniak, Senior Warden