Words From The Warden

Listening
Warning- This week’s message contains several partial stories that touch on the subject of abuse. While I do not directly address the specifics of what took place, there are references to abusive experiences. For privacy, real names have not been used.

Whenever I read the passage from Psalm 46, “Be still, and know that I am God,” I used to imagine God’s voice booming with authority, commanding us humans to be silent and comply with His demands. Eventually, my perspective shifted. I began to wonder if, instead, God might be gently whispering to us, inviting us to listen more closely.

In 1981, I worked as an adult probation officer in Wood County, Ohio. Although our office officially opened at 8:15 AM, I typically arrived by 7:30 AM. One morning, I found Patrolman Pam waiting on the bench outside the probation department. Pam was five years older than me and, in her short tenure, had earned a reputation as an outstanding police officer. Over her career, she rose through the ranks and eventually retired as a Lieutenant after more than 30 years of service.

That morning, Pam requested a private conversation. We sat together in my office and, after some polite greetings, she brought up the presentence report I was preparing about John Smith. Pamela knew that Mr. Smith, a well-liked member of the community, had been convicted of child molestation. Because of his respected position within the community, I received numerous letters and phone calls from people supporting him and highlighting his positive contributions. 

Officer Pam revealed to me that Mr. Smith had molested her when she was a child. She expressed concern that the strong community support for him might overshadow the seriousness of his criminal actions. Pam explained that how, as a child, she had told her parents and her pastor about what happened, but her story was dismissed. They simply did not listen to her. Pam wanted to make certain that we listened to the newest victim and we heard her story. “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.” 1 Sam 3:9

Before I left the Probation Department in 1985, I became involved in another significant case, this time concerning a sixth-grade girl named Sally. Teachers at Sally's middle school had noticed that something seemed off about her behavior and brought their concerns to the attention of the school's guidance counselor, Mrs. B. Responding to these concerns, Mrs. B invited Sally into her office for private conversations. Over the course of several meetings, Sally confided that her father had been abusing her for several years.

Mrs. B demonstrated remarkable compassion and patience by truly listening to Sally's story. Her supportive approach not only helped Sally feel heard but also allowed Mrs. B to earn Sally's trust. Through this process, Mrs. B became Sally's advocate, ensuring that Sally received the support and protection she needed during an incredibly difficult time.

During my time as Athletic Director and de facto Assistant Principal at Eastwood High School, just outside of Bowling Green, Ohio, from 1985 through the 1989 school year, I encountered many challenging situations involving students. One afternoon, a teacher named Bill brought a student named Lisa to my office. Bill was frustrated and had run out of patience with Lisa, describing her as disrespectful toward both him and her classmates. She was uncooperative, mouthy, and seemed completely out of control.

As Lisa waited outside my office, Bill and I took some time to review her academic and attendance records. We knew that Lisa was a member of the school’s soccer team and, due to her recent behavior and attendance issues, was at risk of losing her eligibility to participate. After Bill left, I invited Lisa into my office so we could talk privately.

Our conversation lasted quite a while. At first, Lisa’s “nasty” behavior persisted, but eventually, as she began to feel heard, she opened up and shared her story. Lisa explained that a few years before I arrived at Eastwood, her mother had been in a serious car accident. The injuries left her mother physically unable to care for herself and with significant brain damage. Lisa had taken on much of the responsibility for her mother’s care. Meanwhile, Lisa’s father spent most of his non-working hours at a local bar. He had recently told Lisa that, when she turned eighteen, he planned to kick her out of the house and divorce her mother in order to be with his girlfriend. On top of all this, Lisa wanted to attend college, but now felt that was no longer a possibility.

After speaking with Lisa, I shared her story with Bill. He quickly became her advocate, and together with another teacher, they supported Lisa through her remaining year at Eastwood. They helped her navigate the college admission process and worked to arrange placement for her mother, ensuring that Lisa could pursue her dreams despite the many challenges she faced.

Reflecting on these experiences, I realize that Bill, Mrs. B, and Patrolman Pam are true heroes. They took the time to listen—to truly hear the pain and struggles in someone’s life—and responded with empathy and action. Perhaps, when God tells us to “be still,” He is inviting us to listen more deeply. In doing so, we can become instruments of healing for those in need. 

“Lord Jesus, you were ever ready to listen to those who cried out to you. You gave us ears to hear: help us to hear. May we listen to all we meet and to those who come to us in trouble. Amen.”

Peace,
Henry Zaborniak, Senior Warden